CONNECT the DOTS
CONNECT the DOTS
What are some of the biggest problems you have in your business?
- Getting clients?
- Managing your expenses?
- Selling out your launch to cover your expenses until the next launch?
There are days and weeks where my biggest problem isn’t in my business, but it has a BIG impact on my business.
This week’s episode: Find out how I solve my biggest problem.
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Well, you know what that means it’s time to Expose the Money Lies. Let’s get started.
Have you ever had a time period where you just weren’t sleeping? Well, now, I know I have a lot of moms that listen to this podcast. And so I’m sure that, you know, when you had a newborn, or a couple of newborns some review, then you probably didn’t sleep very well. And that’s a problem, right? Well, I haven’t been sleeping very well at all lately. And I don’t really know why it’s just been this thing over the last couple of months, I have had a lot of trouble sleeping. Now, there was a time when I made that a huge problem, I had all kinds of stories about it. And I’ll get into that in a little bit. And then there was a period of time where I decided it wasn’t a problem. And then I heard somebody talking about how much, you know, lack of sleep impacts our health and all of that. And they recommended this book called Why We sleep and I started reading that and then it became a problem again. And what made it a problem was me believing that it was not enough, yes typical scarcity problem, right? which in and of itself is not a problem, what makes it a problem is how I respond to it. I can respond in with, you know, being in control and powerful or I can respond as a powerless victim. And the problem with how I sometimes respond is that I’m not focused on what’s possible and what I can do. And instead, I approach the problem with a limited mindset versus an abundance mindset. Now, a limited mindset focuses on the limitations and then perpetuates the limitations perpetuates the problem. However, an abundant or what I have often called an unlimited mindset focuses on possibilities and solutions, and an unlimited mindset perpetuates abundance and limitless solutions. And I’m sure you can see how very useful this can be not only in building a limitless business, but in building a limitless life. And so that’s what I’m going to talk about today. So one of the things that I feel one of the areas in my business, or in my life that I feel limitless, is when I’m writing, I don’t know what it is about writing, but it just all of my problems seem to melt away, when I’m writing, I get to think I get to ponder I get to problem solve and problem solving is one of the one of my favorite things to do. And that’s one of the things that I really feel like I help my clients a lot with. And that’s one of the things that I’m really looking forward to helping people with in Miracle Multiplier Alliances, because I get really fired up when I get to solve problems. Now, it’s one thing to find nothing but problems, but then it’s another thing to find the problems that need to be solved and then solve them. And I feel like one is a scarcity mindset and one’s, an abundance mindset. So, you know, we don’t want to train ourselves or brains to look for problems, they can do that all on their own. But we also don’t want to ignore the problems that our brain brings to us. Because that can be in a door that we can open to additional possibilities, additional opportunities, additional awareness around our scarcity mindset or areas of our life or business that we see problems that we could address that maybe we aren’t addressing, that we’re avoiding or resisting. So when I believe I’m not getting enough sleep, and I believe it’s a problem, here’s what happens for me. And so I make it a problem, because I make it mean, I’ll be tired. And being tired might not be a problem. But I make that a problem. Because I make that mean, I’ll be grumpy, or I won’t think clearly, or I won’t be focused, I won’t get things done, I won’t do things well enough, I won’t make powerful decisions, or I’ll make bad decisions. I won’t, whatever, whatever your brain thinks you won’t do or won’t be capable of doing. If you don’t get enough sleep. That’s the first thing that becomes a problem. And then we can drill down even further. So any of those things, I won’t think clearly I won’t be focused, I won’t get things done, which means I’ll get behind, which means that I won’t do things that make me money, all the things. So again, you might have this long list, or you might have a very short list. But it’s whatever your brain thinks will happen. As a consequence of however you filled in the rest of that sentence, I won’t get things done, for example.
So I’ll get behind, which means I won’t reach my goals, or any of the other things that your brain makes that mean, when you get behind, or whatever your answer to that was. So we keep drilling down and drilling down and drilling down until we get to the real heart of the problem. So I won’t reach my goals, which means all of the things again, my business is doomed, I’ll look like a fool, I’ll look like a failure, I won’t be able to pay my bills, I’ll lose my home, I’ll be homeless, sleeping under a bridge, I’ll lose credibility, my life will be doomed if my business is doomed. And then we can make that mean, I’ll never recover. And so what this might look like in a model is maybe the circumstance is I don’t get eight hours of sleep or whatever you consider enough. Which means that which I make mean that my life and business are doomed. That’s ultimately what I do, I’ll down to when I get down to all of those layers, my life in business are doomed, and you can go even farther, maybe it’s I won’t be able to make money, I’ll be homeless sleeping under a bridge. Right? Maybe that’s your ultimate worst case scenario, which makes me feel defeated, hopeless, powerless, any of those.
Those are usually my clients go twos, they’re, you know, like a victim, or completely defeated or completely discouraged. So any, any degree of any of those is probably what that’s going to make you feel like, it certainly does make me feel that that. And therefore I soak, I don’t figure out the problem. I exhaust myself in the spiral of doom. And there could be a number of other actions and lack of action that happens when I feel defeated when I feel hopeless, when I feel powerless. And so the result is I focus on doom. And what I focus on grows, so I grow doom. I don’t see possibility. And therefore I grow impossibility. So whatever I focus on grows, and instead of focusing on Doom and growing Doom, instead of not seeing possibility, and growing impossibility. I can interrupt that model and ask some simple, powerful questions just shift from my survival doom and gloom brain to my prefrontal cortex where possibility lives.
And I love to do this for myself, because it because my brain loves to go to the judgment space, and to the Oh, no, this is impossible. This was never this will never work. This has never worked, will never work. I’m doomed, right? That’s where my brain likes to go. So I like very simple, very powerful questions that I can go to automatically to get my brain out of that in moving more towards possibility. So one of those very simple but very powerful questions for me, is what are my options? And this works especially well, if my brain is focused on something in the past.
I like to ask what are my options because it gets me back to the present like, I cannot change what I did yesterday. I cannot change what I did last year or last month. 10 years ago. I can’t change any of that. But I can’t do something today, I can make a choice today, that impacts might today, my tomorrow, my next year. So instead of looking at problems and limitations, what if I could see if I could spot this happening in the moment, which I have gotten pretty good at, if I could spot this happening, and I could pause for just a minute, and ask the simple question, what are my options, then I bring myself back to what I can do, instead of focusing on what I can’t do anything about. And so if, once I get there, then sometimes I’ll ask a follow up question, like, what is the result I would want, if anything was truly possible, and I don’t usually ask it in that exact form. I make it really simple. And I just basically say, What do I want? And so I did this, for the retreat, there was, you know, my brain kept going to doom and gloom, oh, no, I’m going to lose all this money. And I thought this was what God called me to maybe I was mistaken. And all of this stuff, like, all of the the rabbit holes, my brain took me down. Whenever I saw the problems that I was experiencing, with the retreat, you know, and the game changer really was, what do I want? You know, I have all of these things that are true right now. But what do I want to be true? What are the things that I can control? What can I do? What can I influence? What do I want? And so those have been very powerful questions for me, what are my options? And what do I want? And you can answer one or both. So you can try one of these one time and the next time try the other? Or at work, you can try both. Maybe you ask what are my options? And then maybe a follow up question is, what do I want. And so try these, try these out and see which one works best for you see, if both work for you. And you can also modify them, your goal is really just to be able to start opening up to the possibility of a positive outcome, despite whatever unfortunate circumstance, whether it’s not getting enough sleep, whether it’s not filling your lunch, whether it’s not making a goal that you had set, whatever it is, just to open up to being in complete control, having power over the situation, finding the evidence of good in every single bad, what seems like a bad situation, or what feels like a bad situation. And just be willing to play around with different ways to phrase these questions, just to find an you know what works best for you.
Because I find some people’s powerful questions aren’t very powerful for me. But if I switch the words around, if I try another way to think about it, another way to say it, sometimes that will open up possibility for me so you can just find what works best for you. What words what types of questions, but just be willing to play around with those. And see, test them out to see which ones open up the most possibility in the most options. So when I start to find options, I can put myself back in the driver’s seat and just keep driving, I can notice any judgment that comes up because judgment will stall you out. It basically if you think about it in terms of traveling down the road, right, since we’re on this, this metaphor of being in the driver’s seat, judgment can stall you out it, think about it as cutting off the fuel source, and leaving you stranded along the side of the road while everyone else is just driving about. Once I give myself the freedom from the judgment over being in this situation in the first place, then I can see with more clarity, more purpose and I can be more deliberate, I can get back on the road, and I can drive on, I can keep going I can keep up my momentum. Because once I get out of survival and see the possibilities and the options for not only overcoming this setback of not getting enough sleep, but for thriving and growing in my business or whatever your setback is, I can find very powerful solutions.
And this is actually a place you know not getting enough sleep solving that problem whatever the the core problem is, as you know you drill down through the layers is a problem that can be solved using my Solve any Problem Toolkit. So I can decide the best way to solve this problem just by moving through each of those options. So one way to one of the ways that I think that I decided you can solve any problem is simply to decide it’s not really a problem. So can I decide it’s not a problem. So let’s try that one out and see if that’s something a way that I can solve this problem of not enough sleep. So if we go back to the circumstance of I don’t get eight hours of sleep, then I can decide to think it’s not a problem.
Because maybe some of the options there are I got enough sleep to do what I have scheduled for today. Or I have enough sleep to do the baseline, the minimum viable product for the day. And the rest, I can make up for another day, I can delegate, I can even drop it for now. Right? So those that’s that could be options. Another option is I’m capable of doing everything on my list for today, despite having less sleep than I prefer. Another option for it not being a problem is I have some flexibility in the tasks I need to do today.
So I’ll swap out some of the more challenging tasks for another day, save them for another day. And I’ll swap in some less challenging tasks, and then I’ll move on. Right, so lots of options. When we have when we decide to believe and it really is a simple decision, it’s not a problem, because whatever option you want to fill in that blank with. And when I believe that, then I feel I might feel resourceful. I might feel powerful, I might even feel smart. Or I might feel strong. What would you feel if you believed it’s not a problem, because whatever you fill in that sentence with, and then when I feel resourceful, I do what I can when I can, I don’t worry, I don’t burn energy ruminating over what I can. can’t accomplish that day. I conserve energy by making fewer decisions. I might implement my predesign protocol for this type of situation if, like I said, there’s lots of times the lately anyway, I think it just goes in ebbs and flows by my ability to sleep.
So if this happens over and over, I might implement a pre designed protocol, I might design a protocol specifically for this situation. Like whenever I have this situation, since it happens from time to time. Yeah, maybe I want to design a specific protocol for the situation that I just kick off. Right? That’s one decision, one less decision, I have to make one, a lot less energy I have to use. And maybe that helps me support and trust and except myself. And maybe I just decide that I’m enough or that what I am doing is enough. So those are all actions I can take. Those are some actions, I can stop taking like stop worrying, stop burning energy, ruminating, stop burning energy by making decisions that I don’t need to make when I’m tired. All of those things. And as a result, I show up as the powerful Problem Solver I am I proved to myself that I can solve any problem regardless of the circumstance. And I know make it not a problem.
So one way, that’s one way to solve any problem, just decide it’s not a problem, and then open up to the options that are available to you. So it could be changing the thought or the action. And therefore you change the result for that problem. And then another way to solve any problem is mindset. Mindset is just changing this thought changing the story. So I have the story that I didn’t gain eight hours of sleep. And the sleep that I did get is not enough. That’s my story. Right? So I can change that story and all of the the down the downs flows from that story, right? Which means that which means that right all the way down to the ultimate problem is that I didn’t get enough sleep. So then I end up homeless and alone. Right? That’s always the worst case scenario it seems for my clients, so I can change that story. And I can change it at the top of the waterfall, right? So if I believe I didn’t get enough sleep, it flows down to which means that which means that all the way down, right? But if I change the story at the top of that waterfall, too, I did get enough sleep.
Whatever sleep that I got, I can just decide it’s enough. And I mean, what good does it really do to tell a story of not enough? If, if I am not going to go back and change the past? Right? I’m not going to go back to the the night before and get enough sleep, right? That’s not an option. So if I didn’t, you know, if I didn’t get eight hours of sleep, then what? What’s the upside of deciding that’s not enough, right? Because that’s a decision that’s not effect. So what good does it do to tell a story of not enough? Now, instead, I could just make the belief I did get enough sleep, I could make that non negotiable. Just like two plus two equals four. No matter what I can decide, I always have enough whether it’s sleep, whether it’s money, whether it’s time, whether it’s energy, right, I can always decide that I have enough, I always have exactly what I need for what I’m doing. I am never lacking any good thing. James1:4 tells us let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Right. So maybe we can just decide we are not lacking anything. And so that’s a mindset solution. That’s, that’s a solution to change my mindset, change my story, change the thought in order to solve the problem. And then the third way to solve any problem is through resources. So resources could be sleep, it could be people to delegate to or outsource to, it could be time, you could extend the deadline of whatever you had on the schedule to that day, you could take things off of your schedule today. If that’s an option that you like, right, that’s why it’s important to ask the question, what are my options, because you can list all of the option doesn’t mean that they all have to be options that you would implement or options that you like, but you can brainstorm all of the options available to you. You can extend the deadline, change the scope or the goal for that day, or even for that month, if it’s an ongoing problem. You know, maybe this is an opportunity to see that you were actually over delivering or over performing in an area where that wasn’t really worthwhile or meaningful.
Now, last episode, we talked to Lynn Mettler, and she had made this really good point to, you know, look at what you’re doing in your business, because using the 80/20 rule, right? Maybe you’re performing 80% and not getting the return on that. Right. So maybe you’re over performing. Maybe you’re using resources that you don’t need to use. And maybe this is just an opportunity to see where you’re doing that maybe the resource is, you change some things around, maybe there’s a more efficient or effective way to do something. Or maybe it’s something that you don’t even have to do at all. Tapping into what you want, can also be a resource, engaging in an activity that energizes you can be a resource, like exercise or music or getting on a call with an energized friend, dancing with your dog dancing with your husband or your daughter, whoever happens to be home. Right? And a resource that I think we often overlook is just processing, whatever you’re feeling that can be a resource. So lots of ways to solve This problem through resources, lots of ways to address the situation through decision, through mindset through resources, you just have to decide what’s the best solution for this particular problem at this particular time. So let’s say that the best solution, the ideal solution that you decide on is to get some rest. But maybe your schedule that day doesn’t accommodate that solution, maybe you have some obligations, you really can’t reasonably get out of, or that you don’t want to get out of, that’s okay. That’s a new problem with a new solution. So when you reassess that problem, you decide to use the decision, you can decide to use the decision that it’s not really a problem. So sometimes you have more flexibility than you might have in other situations. And you can decide on the best solution, given that unique situation and giving given your willingness to change the circumstances. So let’s say that you’ve committed to giving a talk to a group of your ideal clients. And let’s assume that you’ve waited a year and a half for this opportunity, and you’re not willing to cancel the talk, what happens that? Well, you might decide that it’s not really a problem, that you didn’t get eight hours of rest. Yeah, that doesn’t change that doesn’t have to change the that it’s, you know, that you’re concerned about it. And I’m not trying to say that you are no longer concerned about it. But you can decide that you’ll do everything in your control and in your power to make it not a problem, which means that you’ll show up, you’ll give it your all, you’ve you’ll leave nothing on the field, you do the best you can and get work whatever you came to get in that situation. And so now, that’s a decision that it’s not really a problem. But that’s a situation where it might require a little bit of mindset work in order to actually implement that decision.
So let’s say you want to decide it’s not really a problem, but maybe your brain really isn’t willing to go there. So that may actually require a combination of the different ways to solve any problem, it might, you might make a decision, that’s not a problem. But then you may have to do a little mindset work in order to show up as the self that you want to be that day. But no matter what, there are three things you have to do in order to solve big problems, really, in order to solve any problem. And that’s trust yourself. Commit to the results ahead of time, and believe that it’s possible because of who you are, and how you show up on purpose. This means you’ll have the best shot at getting the result you came to get. It means that no matter the outcome, you can be proud of how you showed up. And this means that no matter what you can have your own back and know that you did your best because, you know, I believe that all of you rock. Now, you can go celebrate because no matter how this turns out, no matter what problem you have, and what solution you find, no matter how that turns out, you know for sure that you can do more than you think you’re capable of. And you’re willing to show up for the occasion. So whoo hoo, Go You!
Now, this is the type of thing that we’ll be working on over the next year in Miracle Multiplier Alliance, which is why I’m so excited about the people that I’m going to be working with over the next year. It’s just super fulfilling for me to do this work with the people that I do it with. And when you show up and you’re willing and able to work through any big problem, you become unstoppable. And I love seeing people become unstoppable. So stay tuned, because you know, I’m going to be sharing lots of wins from this program. I just can’t wait to get started January 1. I’ll see you next week.