What I want to know is why is getting it right such a big deal to people?
What does getting it right really get you?
Have you ever thought about what’s still available to you when you don’t get it quite right?
I would encourage you to really think about that.
The reason is that what I’ve been noticing is that it takes a lot longer, it takes a lot more energy and it costs a lot more to get it right than to get it wrong.
What I’ve also been noticing is that getting it right isn’t necessarily going to lead you to the result you want and getting it wrong isn’t necessarily going to prevent you from getting the result you want.
So it’s possible, I’m really beginning to believe and live into the possibility that getting it right or getting it wrong really doesn’t determine if you get what you want.
But being worried about getting right or wrong more times than not does limit you. It keeps you small and it keeps you hidden.
Matthew 5: 14-16 reads, “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”
I’ve been experimenting lately with doing it wrong. And what I realized this morning was how that helps me to disconnect with an identity that is dependent on doing it right. Most of my clients have this pressure to do it right, to do it well, to do it to succeed, to prove something so they can be enough.
When you are willing to do it wrong, you start to gather evidence that, hey, I can do it wrong, and still get what I want. I might not get them right away, but I will get them.
I don’t have to be embarrassed to do it wrong. Because what I realize now that I’m not so wrapped up in myself, worrying that I won’t do it right. What I realize now that I’m looking around me is that lots of people are doing it wrong and they’re doing okay too.
I don’t have to have it together. I don’t have to be perfect. My dog doesn’t have to be perfect. My husband doesn’t have to be perfect. Nobody has to be perfect. Which is perfect – because nobody is perfect.
We aren’t perfect. We don’t have to be perfect. Nobody ever really expected us to be perfect. God sure doesn’t. So it’s perfect!
You can just do what you’re here to do.
You don’t have to live with the pressure of those unrealistic expectations.
You don’t have to live with the constant shame, doubt, insecurity, inadequacy that you’ve felt.
You don’t have to live with the incessant judgment of the loud voices in your head, constantly bickering over what you did wrong.
Who you are is completely independent of what you have, what you do and how you do it. It’s completely separate from doing it right or wrong.
You can be whoever you want to be.
Visibility is a part of your journey.
It not only makes you visible to others but to make the TRUTH visible to you.
I want to repeat that and let it sink in.
Visibility serves not only to make you visible to others, but to make the TRUTH visible to you
It’s part of your personal and professional growth.
It makes you stronger.
More emotionally invincible.
When you’re able to stand up for yourself, you’re more equipped to fight for others.
What you find there is not weakness, but strength and it’s in the battle that it becomes part of who you are.
it’s in facing the ugly and the scary that you find your truth, the truth that is the strong, secure foundation upon which you can safely and confidently build a legacy.
It’s not about doing it right. It’s about helping the people No. Matter. What.
Back to the scripture, this time from The Message Bible:
“Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.”
You don’t have to do everything right to help people.
You don’t have to do everything right in order to make money.
You don’t have to do everything right in order to further a world where everyone is valued.
The city doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be a community where you’re supported.
Come where you’re supported and none of us are perfect. We’re just loved.
That’s how you reinforce your identity — separate it from what you do and how you do it.
What you do and how you do and how you do it is completely dependent on what you believe in any given moment.
Those are just sentences in your mind. They do not represent who you are.
Who you are is who you DECIDE you are.
So what will you decide?
Most of you know I’m hosting a retreat in Nashville, TN October 22-25.
I’m not doing this retreat the way I’m supposed to, I’m not even making the money I’m supposed to make. I’ll be glad to break even, because that has nothing to do with why I’m doing it.
I am not promoting it the way that I’m supposed to.
And guess what, you don’t have to do what you’re supposed to do, either. All you have all you really need to do is whatever you can do in whatever way you can do it.
And that is truly good enough for now. And when you stand in that space where you are good enough for now you are complete, you are whole you don’t need anything.
Then you can start to elevate.
You elevate your perspective of who you are, what you’re capable of. You start operating from the more that you’re made for.
Just like I’m doing in my business. I’ve told you I’m not perfect. I’m still figuring out the business stuff. I’m still detecting and mastering my money lies, but I take all my life experience, all the challenges I’ve faced and overcome, all the experiences that I’ve grown from and all the experiences I’ve coached my clients and colleagues through.
I take all of those things and use them to help you troubleshoot the problems driving you crazy in your business right now. I bring that wisdom, that knowledge, my unique problem solving skills, to my mission to equip and empower and elevate women who equip and empower and elevate other women.
And that’s what this retreat is about, it’s about getting clear, it’s about getting direction that you feel most aligned with and moving in that direction, in a very powerful way.
You know I had a client recently who was finally able to step into her true power and realize what that looked like for her and what that felt like for her. And it was so illuminating it was so elevating it lifted her up so much, and it brought tears to my eyes because we’ve been working on this for several months, and I saw it, I saw it in her the first day I worked with her. From the first time I’d met I met her on my value call, I saw that power in her. But she didn’t see it. She was wearing her Money Lies and they were covering up the most powerful and beautiful parts of her.
It took a little while to convince her to take off those Money Lies and to show her what I saw from the beginning, but she had to access that, she had to find that herself.
It’s a process, but that’s one thing I’m so looking forward to about this retreat is the opportunity to do that I do with my clients in a four day intensive.
Spending four solid days with me gives you a chance to immerse yourself in that power, in that truth and really solidify that for yourself.
You get to stand in that power for the entire weekend and really feel what it feels like in a way that you’ll never forget. That will make it easier to keep standing in that power even after you return home.
That’s what I experienced at Byron Katie’s 9-day School for The Work and that’s what I’ve wanted to offer to you for a long time.
That’s what I have always envisioned doing for the people that I know I struggle with the same thing with stepping into their true identity in a powerful way.
It’s very intense, but not in an overwhelming way, more of a relaxed, insightful and wise way.
That’s really what this retreat is all about.
I really want you to join me in Nashville next month!