Our Money Mindset and how we think about who we are comes from different sources.
Where does your Money Mindset come from?
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No Wonder We All Have a Scarcity Mindset.
The human brain defaults to negative, defaults to finding problems, because it’s by finding problems that have to be solved that we keep the species alive.
Yes, when we focus on problems we find more problems because what we focus on grows, but it can also get us stuck and spinning and spiraling into more and more problems.
Source and impact of lies-I shouldn’t shine too brightly (step mom)
Core MESSAGE: Our money lies come from a lot of different sources. And we accumulate them throughout our life.
AND most often the money lies we’re believing are unconscious.
For example, in my business, I had a really, really hard time putting myself out there. I didn’t feel fearful of anything in particular, which is why it was a bit maddening. It was just this really strong resistance that I couldn’t quite identify. It was so deep that it was hidden from my sight. And this is true for a lot of my clients. Sometimes, we’ll work on a particular thing for a few months before we get to the layer that reveals the true problem and it’s almost always something they were not conscious of.
This is true for me as well. My one-on-one coaches helped me identify some of mine. Others were revealed when I detected them for my clients, I realized I was believing the same lie. Others were revealed when I unpacked something completely unrelated, like the lie I detected and exposed on my birthday – that I talked about in Episode 53.
The lie that Dave Moreno helped me detect is “If I stay invisible, I won’t cause any trouble.” That unlocked so much for me. I could see where I was believing this in so many areas of my life. It came from my step mom. As most of you know, the blended family dynamic can be so challenging, even with thought work. So without thought work, imagine all the lies that everyone in that situation believe. She hates me — the kids might believe this — I certainly did and the parents can believe this about the kids. Because of those challenges, because of those beliefs, it’s just easier to stay small and invisible.
I spent my whole life trying to stay invisible. When you become an entrepreneur, it’s the opposite. The goal is to be as visible as possible.
If I stayed invisible in my family, I might not be loved by my step mom, but I don’t think I really believed that was possible anyway — again, none of this was conscious. I just thought I was the problem. If I stayed invisible at least I wouldn’t be visible as the problem. And it wasn’t just one event that created this belief and it wasn’t just one belief. It was really a belief system.
And that’s the case with my clients as well. It’s not just one belief – it’s a whole system of beliefs that support each other. That’s what forms the foundation of their business and the life they have is that system of what we discover is just a web of lies.
But all I have to do is detect one and that usually leads me to others. All I have to do is unlock their awareness of one and it unlocks awareness of others.
And I don’t pass up any door that could lead to that awareness. It can be the simplest little thing that unlocks that door. I tell my clients to bring everything to their sessions, not just thoughts, feelings, actions and result about money, but about everything. Even the most mundane little things can help me detect a lie that’s impacting you in your business.
Money lies are often subconscious and anything can bring them to the surface where we can detect and expose them
Just look at the messaging we’ve absorbed-
Just think about some of the most common proverbial sayings.
Some are generations old.
These messages have been around so long they’ve just become part of who we are, they’re just the way the world works.
We don’t even realize they’re operating. That’s why detecting and exposing Money lies is so important and why we need to really build awareness around where those Money Lies come from and what happens when they continue to operate unquestioned, undetected untreated. Imagine the damage it would do if it was mold in your home.
What I was noticing recently is how many proverbial sayings are based on a scarcity mindset.
I got off on a tangent when I was brainstorming podcast episodes for May and that tangent happened when I was thinking about one of my coaching sessions where I was coaching a former client on a 1 on 1 group call —
I hold bonus group calls for my 1:1 clients and even after we stop working together, they are invited to these bonus group calls. So I was coaching one of the women on that call and this proverbial saying came to my mind afterwards:
“A bird in the hand is worth 2 in a bush.”
in other words-take what you have and don’t Risk losing it.
I have some clients that are working full time jobs while they’re trying to build their coaching practice. They all want to get to the point where coaching is their full time job. However, they all have a lot of drama about that journey. They have a lot of Money Lies. And a common money lie that most of them believe is that their full-time job is safer than betting on their business.
I don’t agree, but I always say, “I cannot possibly know what’s best for my clients.” Only they know what’s best.
The reason they don’t trust themselves to make the money in their business that they’re making in their full time jobs is simply because they just don’t trust themselves.
I say, “If you can trust yourself to show up and do a good job at your full time job, you can trust yourself to show up and do a good job at your new business. The problem is that they don’t want to trade a job that they feel competent in for a job that they don’t feel equipped for, that they don’t feel capable of, that they don’t feel certain in. And they will feel that way in their business ONLY because of what they believe about themselves when it comes to their business. And what they believe about themselves are what I call money lies.
So they might be believing something similar to this saying “”A bird in the hand is worth 2 in a bush.”
What I say to that is: What if you don’t have to risk the bird in the hand to get the 2 more sitting on the bush?
Then you have 3 birds instead of 1 bird. I genuinely believe in each of my clients that much that they are settling for 1 bird when they could have 3 AND MORE!!
When I thought about this saying and how these clients believe this, I started to wonder what other old sayings demonstrate a scarcity mindset instead of an abundance mindset and I found quite a few.
I thought it might be fun to talk about some of them just to do something silly and different and show you that talking about money doesn’t always have to be so serious!!
Hopefully, this episode will get you thinking and just be fun and interesting.
See how many of these you’ve heard before and see how many might be operating in the background for you. I would love to know which ones resonate for you.
It was interesting to me how these fell into categories:
Either/or and all or nothing mentality
Stay small and Play it safe so you Don’t make mistakes
Victim mentality and not having control over things which makes us rely so much on external circumstances to get what we want, ultimately leading to frustration
See what categories you come up with.
- Money is the root of all evil.
- A fool and his money are soon parted.
- A leopard cannot change its spots.
- Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
- Good things come to those who wait
- All good things come to an end.
- Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
- Another day, another dollar and Time = Money
- An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
- As you make your bed, you must lie in it
- Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.
- Beggars can ‘t be choosers
- Better safe than sorry
- Better the devil you know than the devil you don ‘t
- Business before pleasure
- Curiosity killed the cat
- Don ‘t count your chickens before they hatch
- Don ‘t rock the boat
- Easier said than done
- Easy come easy go
- Enough is as good as a feast
- History repeats itself
- If anything can wrong, it will.
- It is what it is
- Don’t something right the first time or not at all
So fascinating! It led me to wonder how much impact these types of messages have had over time on our current environment and current mindset.
It’s fun just to consider and to look for ways this impacts how we see ourselves, how we see our business, how we see the world that we’re selling in.
How will you look for messaging that’s impacting you and your business?
How will you start to question its role in your life?