What identity are you struggling to step into?
Who are you becoming that still feels a little untrue? You might even feel a little bit like a fraud for even thinking of yourself in this way?
Too often, we’re so focused on what we don’t have, who we’re not, what we’re not doing … that we forget to celebrate the progress we are making. AND, we forget to step into the new identity of the person that we’re becoming.
I recently pursued a lifelong dream to write and publish a book. And in the process, I became a bestselling author.
I’m still struggling with the achievement – it’s even hard for me to say out loud, “I’m a bestselling author.” It feels like I’m riding on the coattails of someone I don’t deserve to hang out with, because my old identity is in a tug of war with my new identity.
It’s just tough for my brain to completely buy into this new persona. From a survival perspective, it’s not safe. this new identity still feels pretty uncertain. What if it’s not real? What if it’s just an illusion? What if I abandon my old identity and my new identity doesn’t pan out? Will I be stranded in the middle of nowhere with no identity?
I’m having to coach myself around this. I’m having to remind myself that these are just lies that the brain in charge of keeping me safe is believing because it’s safer to believe this than to go on to do new and greater things that I could fail at. And then where would I be? Cast out? All alone? Criticized? Publicly shamed?
My brain is resisting and that’s okay. If I’m aware of this, I can question these lies and I can choose my truth intentionally. I can process those feelings of self-doubt, fear and insecurity. I can understand exactly where they’re coming from and how my brain thinks they might serve me. I can also consider how they don’t serve me.
Investing in a new identity is a lot like investing in the stock market. Investing in your identity means spending time living in that identity, doing the thought work around what you need to believe in order to keep living in that identity. And it’s hanging out in that identity as much as possible.
Investing in the stock market can be scary, especially if that’s not an area of expertise or an area we’re even comfortable with. The best advice I’ve ever heard about investing is that you should always understand what you’re investing in before investing in the stock market. This doesn’t mean you need to get a finance degree. Just invest time into learning enough to understand how it works, understand the risks, as well as what you have to gain. You can do this by investing in a financial professional that is willing and able to teach you and do your due diligence. Trust but verify. You can take courses, read books, listen to podcasts – just like anything else you want to improve in your life, learn more about it from reliable resources.
Just like investing in the stock market, you should also understand the identity you want to invest in. What does this identity offer you? What are the risks of stepping into this identity? What do you stand to gain? Is it in alignment with who you are meant to be? Why do you want this identity and do you like your reasons?
Then, just like when you invest in the stock market, do it with a long-term perspective. You’ll need to generate patience, you’ll need to manage your mind around the insecurity you will inevitably feel as you’re becoming more familiar with it.
It may seem foreign to you at first and you may be tempted to panic when the market goes down. But as you’re embracing your new identity, as a business owner who is a master of her money, you just have to stay in the game.
Just like investing, stepping into your new identity is a long-term game. You only lose if you panic and get out of the game.
If you want to make money, you need to hang in there and not sell out. I can help you with this. I have spots available in my M.A.S.T.E.R. Your Relationship With Money program.
I have lots of resources on my website at http://jillwrightcoaching.com/ to help you sign MORE clients, help MORE people and make MORE money.
YOU are MADE for MORE – let me help you uncover your MORE!