Life is not all rainbows and daisies, right? We might think that we want it to be all rainbows and daisies and nothing yucky, but I think that might be pretty boring and monotonous. It might not be very rewarding either. What would we be moving toward, what would we be motivated by if we already had everything? Think about when you have come through adversity or a really big accomplishment. Think about how good you felt to come through that, to grow from that. Even though it might have been difficult, think about how you felt looking back on that? When you’re on the other side of that mountain, you look back and realize what you have accomplished or how strong you’ve become or how much your faith has grown.
I don’t think life should be rainbows and daisies. I think life is pretty much 50/50 — overall life is roughly half negative and half positive. There’s peaks and valleys. And I think that’s the way it should be.
But we think we don’t like the tough times. We think that we would rather everything be easy. And what happens when we think that is what happens with a lot of my clients. When the 50% negative happens, they do one of two things. They either live in the past wishing that the things there didn’t happen or they fear what might happen in the future. Many of my clients, when they come to me for coaching, have been avoiding their negative emotions.
When you live in the past, you continue reliving the negative things that happened in the past and in doing so, you miss the present. Whatever joy, growth, lessons, positive things that could come out of these experiences or whatever is going on in the present moment is lost while you’re hanging out in the past.
The other thing my clients do is they live in fear of the future. While you are living in fear of potential disasters you think might happen in your life, you miss out on the present. How can you experience any joy that happens in the here and now when you’re too busy fretting and worrying about stuff that could happen? You’re too busy trying to avoid and prevent something that could happen in the future that you don’t even see the amazing things going on right now all around you.
When you’re worried about the future that hasn’t happened yet, you’re choosing to live your life as if the situation you’re worried about will happen. What if it doesn’t happen? What if you choose not to worry about it and it does happen? Then you live it then. It doesn’t make any sense to live it out now when you don’t even know it will happen. If you’re going to live it either way, why not wait until it happens to live it? Why spend your present by worrying about your future?
So whether you’re living in the past or the future, you’re not living in the present. You’re missing out on what is happening here and now. Whatever things happening in the here and now that might bring you joy, you’re totally missing out on that because you’re living somewhere else.
Think about this for a minute. If life is 50/50 and you’re missing out on some of the 50% positive because you’re hanging out in the past or the future, suddenly life is now more like 70% negative and 30% positive. You just completely ignored some of the positive while you were caught up in something that already happened that you can’t change or something that might not even happen that you’re living out whether it happens or not. And that makes life much more depressing – it’s no wonder depression has increased so much in a world where so many people avoid feeling and processing their emotions. Where so many people live anywhere but in the present moment.
Don’t increase life to 70 or 80% negative and 20-30% positive by living in the past or the future. Just be willing to process the 50% negative. When you’re not afraid to feel the 50% negative, it is not a problem. Then you can instead spend 100% of your time enjoying what you do have. Right. Now.
#LiveNow #JillTheMoneyCoach #BePresent
Twenty years ago, Jill Wright was in debt and living paycheck to paycheck. Through focus and hard work, over the years she and her husband built a nest egg that allowed them to retire in 2018 at ages 50 and 53.
Jill heard God’s call to help other women repaint their own financial future and was eager to answer it. She left her corporate job and became a Financial Confidence Coach. Jill loves helping women give up shame around spending so that they can stop stressing about their money. She helps strong generous women go from feeling weighed down by their finances to feeling in control so they can focus on being present and supporting their family.