Ha! Don’t make the wrong decisions. Thank you Captain Obvious!
As if we make the wrong decisions on purpose!
What if it was possible to NEVER make the wrong decision again? Sounds impossible, right? WRONG!
I believe it’s IMPOSSIBLE to make the wrong decision. And I’m going to argue my case for you here. Then you can DECIDE J for yourself!
Which one feels more true to you? Say them out loud and notice how you feel when you say each one.
A.“There’s no such thing as a wrong decision.”
B. “I always choose the wrong decision.”
For the clients that come to me, they more often believe that they make a lot of bad decisions, especially when it comes to money. So we spend a lot of time in my program walking through their decision making process and helping them see why they make the wrong decisions.
And since that has been so helpful for them, I thought I would share some of what I do with my clients with you. Today, I’m going to expose the lie that you make the wrong decisions, so you NEVER have to make the wrong decision ever again.
Do you ever get stuck in indecision? Ever indulge in confusion when you’re trying to make a decision? I have. It’s pretty common for people with scarcity mindset to have trouble making decisions. And here’s why I think that is. When we have a scarcity mindset, when we’re believing money lies, money is limited. We either don’t have enough, or if we do have enough, we’re terrified that we’ll lose what we do have.
There’s this never-ending struggle for enough that’s like an annoying buzzing sound that you can’t figure out where it’s coming from and you can never quite get away from.
Here’s what I’ll cover today:
- Why we get stuck in indecision and why it’s painful
- Why it feels good to get out of indecision and why it doesn’t last
- Why we make it the wrong decisions
- How to make decisions
- How we can always make any decision the right decision
The reasons that we get stuck when making decisions is that we (1) believe we always make the wrong decision, (2) we find/create evidence that we always make the wrong decision (because our brains are designed to find evidence of what we believe) (3) we’ve avoided making decisions so many time that it just becomes part of who we are, and (4) we want to avoid being wrong or making a mistake and the feelings that come with that.
The biggest reason that you stay stuck in indecision is because the pain of indecision doesn’t feel as bad as you think you’ll feel if you make the WRONG decision. Because your brain has you convinced that making the WRONG decision will be the end of the world as you know it. And not only that, you’ll look bad if you make the wrong decision.
AND because of the evidence your brain has for your track record for making decisions, it convinces you that you will most definitely make the wrong decision.
Indecision is less painful than the consequences of making the wrong decision. You assume that you’ll make the wrong decision. That’s why you stay stuck in indecision.
But even though indecision is less painful than being wrong and suffering the perceived consequences, there’s no doubt that indecision is plenty painful. Because indecision uses up a ton of mental energy and leaves us craving certainty. Our brains hate uncertainty.
How do you get unstuck? How do you relieve your brain of feeling uncertain?
Make a decision and take action to implement the decision.
CLARITY comes from making decisions and taking action while Indecision and inaction ONLY produce CONFUSION.
The longer you stay in indecision not taking action, the more you judge yourself, beat yourself up, the less confident you become, which only makes the decision even harder.
Only you can decide whether a decision is right or wrong. No one can prove beyond a reasonable doubt whether a decision is right or wrong. That’s why you get to decide the best decision for you — not for anybody else — for you.
I joined a mastermind about a year or so into starting my business. I was super-excited about it when I made the decision, but somewhere along the way, I stopped believing that I had made the right decision.
Here’s what that looked like, when I believed I made the wrong decision:
Circumstance: I made the decision to join the mastermind.
Thought: I made the wrong decision.
Feeling: Embarrassed (or ashamed)
Actions: Hide, don’t show up fully in the mastermind, don’t do the thought work needed to show up fully, indulge in confusion, inaction, blame myself and the mastermind, judge myself for being so stupid and gullible, take tentative action, just check the boxes so I can say I tried and it didn’t work
Result: I make my decision the wrong decision.
My point of all this is. That what YOU believe about the decision is the only thing that makes it the wrong decision. There is no factual basis that makes it right or wrong.
AND THAT’S WHY THIS discovery IS SO GREAT!!
If what you believe is the ONLY thing that makes it the wrong decision, and
If YOU are in control of what you believe (and you are),
That means that you are also in control of making the right decision EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
And that’s so awesome!!
So, how do you do that? How do you NEVER make the wrong decision again?
Simple. You just decide to believe that every decision you make is the right decision for you. And you decide, “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it”, whenever the doubt, the second-guessing and the insecurity kicks in.
The decision you already made is a circumstance. Just decide what you want to believe about it. And make the decision about what to believe about your decision based on the result you want, NOT based on the decision you already made.
What would that model look like when I decide to believe that I made the right decision? Let’s take a look.
Circumstance: I made the decision to join the mastermind.
Thought: I made the right decision.
Feeling: Confident (or certain)
Actions: Show up fully in the mastermind, do the thought work on what’s not working, ask for help, I take meaningful and powerful action, I keep trying, I don’t give up
Result: I make my decision the RIGHT decision.
If we want the “right” results, we need to find the belief that creates those results. And that has nothing to do with the decision we made and everything to do with what we believe about the decision we made.
How was this the right decision for me when I decided to join the Mastermind, even if I didn’t get the outcome I thought I wanted from it?
Well, I learned a lot of things and made a lot of great connections to amazing people. I have no way of knowing in this moment what that might lead to, but I can TRUST myself and God and believe that it will lead to something amazing.
How will I show up when I do that? In a way that is much better, much different from how I would show up if I kept believing that I made a huge mistake.
When you’re in the decision making process, self-coach, get coached, and question your thoughts about the decision. Get the information you need to make the decision, then make the decision.
After you make the decision, the decision is a circumstance. And you get to believe what you want to believe about that circumstance. Whatever gets you the best result for you is what you should believe.
Each right decision makes you more confident in your decision making, which means you’ll be less likely to get stuck in indecision. Because you’ll trust yourself to make the right decisions. And because you trust yourself to make the right decisions, you’ll make more decisions and more of those decisions will be right, because you’ll make them the right decision.
What’s the difference between the right decision and the wrong decision? A thought.
If you want to get more information and some tools to help you practice making good decisions, I have a page on my website that has more resources, including Four Simple Keys to Making Good Decisions to help you to stop making the wrong decisions in your business. Below is a link to the toolbox, so you can go grab it and start getting more clarity and taking more action.
Because YOU are MADE for MORE!