When I look at my life and some of the messes I have made I cringe. It’s very uncomfortable to own some of that stuff. But I let it be my teacher.
Brooke Castillo, owner of The Life Coach School, says, “The worst that can happen is a feeling.”
In my experience this is true. When I remember this, I realize that I can do anything. I can believe anything. Think about it. What are some reasons that you haven’t done some things in your life? What is driving those decisions? It’s usually fear.
How has fear put limits on your life?
In my life, I avoided meet people because I felt socially awkward and I thought I was boring and uninteresting. How did I show up in social situations when I believe that I’m socially awkward, boring and uninteresting? I try to be invisible, I don’t engage with people, I act awkward. What happens? I end up coming off as socially awkward, boring or uninteresting. Big surprise right?
After managing my mind, I may sometimes still have those thoughts, but I no longer believe them. Because they aren’t useful to me. I don’t have to believe any thoughts I have, even the ones that feel really true. I know what you’re thinking – how is this possible? I can question those thoughts. I can really examine how I can know that they are absolutely true. Can I absolutely know what someone else is thinking? The other thing I can do is turn those thoughts around.
Here’s what I mean. I think I am boring and uninteresting.
BUT, I can turn my thinking around and explore the possibility that I am NOT boring or uninteresting. How do I show up when I believe that instead of believing what my brain originally offered me? I tell them what’s happening in my life or I engage with them without the drama happening in my brain. I am more present when I’m not worrying about what they think.We can do the same trick with judgments that keep us from feeling and expressing unconditional love. For example if I believe that my ex doesn’t care about me or the kids and is only interested in his own life, I can harbor a lot of resentment and anger that can affect our relationship and can affect the family dynamic. It can also cause me pain.
BUT when I can turn that around to explore that my ex actually does care about me and the kids and our financial situation, I can look for examples where that might be true. Another possibility to explore is turning it around to ourselves where we find examples of where I don’t care about my ex or his life or where I don’t care about me or the kids. This might sound like a stretch, but when you’re not open to all of the possibilities and you’re continuing to think in a way that might hurt you or the kids, are you demonstrating that unconditional love for yourself and the kids by continuing to believe what is hurting you?
Remember our brain looks for evidence of what we believe. Whatever we explore, we can ask our brain to find evidence of … when we’re truly open to this kind of freedom.
It’s the same way with money. If we believe that we can’t afford some things, our brain will find evidence of that. If we believe we’re not good with money, our brain will find evidence of that. But now we know that we can turn those things around and also find evidence of the opposite or at least something different.
And as you’re trying out these turnarounds, remember: the worst that can happen is a feeling. And I can control my feelings when I can control my thoughts. I can choose to believe what serves me best. I can choose unconditional love. I can just be present for that.
My emotions are a gift from God – my emotions help me experience everything in life to the fullest. I am grateful for every single thing, the good the bad and the ugly. It means I’m alive and I’m present on this journey and I accept everything and love everything. It’s all here for me.
My challenge for you this week is to open yourself up to every possibility. When you notice anything that is hurting or keeping you stuck or in judgment of something — no matter how small or seemingly innocent. Ask yourself these questions: Are these thoughts helping you become the person you want to be or are they keeping your authentic self hidden? Are they helping you love or are they keeping you from loving? Are they helping you move forward or holding you back?Then try turning each one around and find examples of how that could be true. And notice how the pain begins to lessen. Notice how when you’re open to what you’re thinking and how that is creating what you’re experiencing and you’re willing to let it go, notice how you start to feel more empowered and more in control and more freedom.
I always love to hear what people find when they are truly open to this exercise. So take a minute to let me know – in the comments or by sending me an email at MoreMoneyCents@gmail.com.
If you haven’t coached with me yet, you can still grab your free coaching session. We can talk about some specific examples in your life that you want to turn around. Just book your free session here: Get your first session free
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Twenty years ago, Jill Wright was in debt and living paycheck to paycheck. Through focus and hard work, over the years she and her husband built a nest egg that allowed them to retire in 2018 at ages 50 and 53.Jill heard God’s call to help other women repaint their own financial future and was eager to answer it. She left her corporate job and became a Financial Confidence Coach. Jill loves helping women give up shame around spending so that they can stop stressing about their money.
She helps strong generous women go from feeling weighed down by their finances to feeling in control so they can focus on being present with their family and building a life they love.