How are you feeling about your business? Your goals? Your 2020?
What’s hijacking your business? Your goals? Your peace of mind?
In my first marriage, I tried to control my husband. I used to try everything to get him to do what I wanted. Not spend money, not eat junk food, not drink so much beer.
It didn’t work.
The person that suffered the most for this was me.
Do you feel like the world is just spinning out of control? Have you ever just wished the world would stop spinning so you could get off and catch your breath?
I have. Not only could I not control other people or things, I also couldn’t control my emotions. Because my emotions depended on those other people or things.
What I learned is that the world doesn’t have to do anything. It can keep spinning. It, and everyone and everything in it, can just keep doing what they do.
I learned that I can be in control of me and that is really all I need to worry about.
When I learned this, I also learned to control (more often 😉 ) my emotions.
You can be in control of your feelings without avoiding or resisting them.
Controlling your emotions without escaping, avoiding or resisting them, is just a mental muscle that you have to build, just like building your physical muscles by going to the gym.
Not only does this help with negative emotions, it helps with positive emotions you want to generate.
Practice regularly shifting your focus from what you don’t want to grow to what you do want to grow.
When you avoid emotion, it seems like you’re more in control, but you’re actually less in control.
I used to cry at work.
It drove me nuts that I couldn’t control that. When I would get really frustrated about something or angry about something that was out of my control, the tears would come. I was up to my eyeballs in pressure and it felt out of my control. The more I would try to stop them the harder it got to keep them at bay.
Until I stopped trying to control things.
Instead of getting frustrated about what I couldn’t do, I started considering what I could do.
That put me into more of a curious or experimental energy, an energy of possibility and of control (ding, ding, ding – we have a WINNER!).
When I stopped trying to focus on controlling the world and started controlling me, the world stopped being so chaotic and exhausting. I no longer needed to control it. It was none of my business.
Control what you can control. Step out of the focus that has you drowning and catch your breath.
The way I think of this is that what you’re doing is changing the circumstance from “I’m thinking about the money I haven’t made and don’t know how to make” (or whatever the thought happens to be) to “I’m thinking about my clients” (or whatever you decide to shift to). Do this for a few moments, just long enough to take a pause. You can shift to anything. It can even be a physical sensation, like “I’m thinking about my toes (or my breath or temperature of the water I’m drinking)”.
You’re in complete control and you don’t have to control the world around you in order for that to be true.
If you want to learn more about the process that I give my clients for building their muscles to control their emotions, reach out to me at Jill@Jillwrightcoaching.com.
I can help you see where your emotions are hijacking you and your business and how they’re impacting the relationship you have with money. I can help you build a strong, secure foundation for your growing business by helping you grow a healthy, strong relationship with money.
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