How to love the unlovable

Have you ever thought about how unlovable some people are? I used to think I was unlovable. I had points in my life that I couldn’t even love myself, so I sure couldn’t imagine how someone else could love me. It was during one of those times that I jumped at the chance to be with the first person that expressed love for me. As you might imagine, that relationship didn’t work out, but it was my teacher. Since then, I learned how to love the “unlovable” – I learned how to love myself. 

So I wanted to share a few ways that you can use to learn how to love the “unlovable”.

First, you might want to stop thinking that anyone is unlovable. And that includes you. How can we absolutely say that someone, anyone, is unlovable? Unlovable means that they cannot be loved. But they are loved by God, so that must not really be absolutely true.

Second, you can ask yourself if they are lovable (if they are not unlovable, they must be lovable), why can’t you love them. What makes this so tough? And how can you be sure that is absolutely true? Often we think that people should be this way or shouldn’t be that way and that is what makes it so tough for us to love them. Maybe we can’t REALLY know that they should be X or shouldn’t be Y. Question this for yourself.  But if it’s not true that they should or shouldn’t be how they seem to be (you can question this as well), maybe we can love them after all. Might be interesting to explore this.

Third, you can brainstorm options. If they were lovable, and if you could love them, how could you do this? How could you demonstrate your love? What would you need to do to express love to them? How would your life change if you could love them? What would you have to believe in order to feel love for them? What would be like for you? What outcome would that lead to in your life?

Fourth, imagine if you could manage your mind to feel love for anyone , what kind of life would that be? 

I like to imagine what God must feel like loving anyone and everyone — it must be so freeing to just not have to think about it. It would be so automatic, like breathing. I don’t wake up thinking, “Ugh, another decision I have to make – to breathe or not to breathe – that is the question.” No drama — God just decided ahead of time that whatever he created, he would absolutely love no matter what crazy stuff they did. He just loves – there is no other option for Him. What an amazing feeling!

There you go — some things to think about, some things to argue with your brain about, some things to consider — as you go forward …. Loving …. Or not. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

#LoveEveryone #JillTheMoneyCoach #NotUnlovable #GodLovesEveryone #LikeBreathing

Twenty years ago, Jill Wright was in debt and living paycheck to paycheck. Through focus and hard work, over the years she and her husband built a nest egg that allowed them to retire in 2018 at ages 50 and 53.

Jill heard God’s call to help other women repaint their own financial future and was eager to answer it. She left her corporate job and became a Financial Confidence Coach. Jill loves helping women give up shame around spending so that they can stop stressing about their money.

She helps strong generous women go from feeling weighed down by their finances to feeling in control so they can focus on being present with their family and building a life they love.