CONNECT the DOTS
CONNECT the DOTS
BONUS: What’s Up With You? Let’s catch up!
Today, I got to talk with Breakup Coach Dorothy.
It was so fun to give you a glimpse into Dorothy’s money journey as she built her coaching business.
Tune in to see if you’re believing any of these money stories she had to rewrite before breaking the multiple six figure mark in her business.
More about Dorothy:
Getting over your ex has nothing to do with “time” or “taking it day by day.”
Break Up Coach teaches how to get over your ex and build a life BETTER than the one you had with your ex in 3 months or less by addressing the root cause instead of heartbreak symptoms.
She teaches a simple 3 step process to heal your heart, create closure, and get excited about your future again.
Connect with Breakup Coach Dorothy on Instagram @breakupcoachdorothy and check our her Get Over Your Ex program: Sign up by April 12
Listen to the show
Full Episode Transcript
Well, you know what that means it’s time to expose the money lies. Let’s get started. What stories? Are you married? To? What stories? Are you telling yourself about money? Or about making money? Or about your ability to be successful in your business? You know, I think coaching is really just storytelling. It’s learning how to tell stories that sell.
And you’re selling yourself on those stories every single day. So what story? Are you telling yourself about money? What story? Are you selling yourself? on yourself? What stories? Are you telling yourself, about? Your business, about your clients, about your relationships, about anything in your life?
And so you’re selling every day? Whether you know it or not? So it’s just a matter of deciding? What is it that you’re going to sell? What are you going to sell yourself? What are you going to sell to other people, you’re selling the stories you tell to yourself? So are you going to spin tales of fear and limitations? Or are you going to weave stories of courage and love? So I wanted to take a few minutes to talk about what this means today.
And I’m so excited that this is my 50th Episode, I can’t believe I have done 49 episodes, this is episode number 50. On my podcast it seems like I just started yesterday. And so I wanted to go back in this episode to this idea of money lies, because money lies are simply stories that we’re telling ourselves, that keep us from the abundant life, from the abundant business, from the success from the dreams and the inspired lives that we are made for. And so I wanted to talk about that in this number 50 episode about what it means and what Money Lies are.
So money lives are just stories that we continually sell ourselves or that our brain continues to sell us, and that we continue to buy. And a lot of times, I think for my clients, especially, most times they don’t even realize that they’re telling or believing those stories, they don’t even see the stories that they’re believing they don’t even see them as lies. And so I think this is one area that I really have not done a great job of connecting you to is this idea of money lies.
So just as an example, one of one of my clients, one of my past clients, she had the story that her brain told her that she was broke. And she was buying that story. She was hook, line and sinker. She was all in in that story. And she’s not the only client that has told herself, or that has bought that story from her brain, right. She’s not the only client that has done that I have had so many clients tell that story.
I had had one client that was making more than she had ever made. But she was still living paycheck to paycheck. What was the story that she was believing? She was believing that she’d never does what she says she will do. She wanted to pay off her debt, but she wasn’t even making a dent in it. She started working with me. And through coaching with me before long she had saved up a three month emergency fund, so three months worth of expenses. And she had paid off a couple of her student loans. She also wanted to make her coaching her full time job. She had a full time job at the time. And she kept saying, Well, I’m just coaching on the side. So what I offered to her one week was well Why do you call your coaching your side gig. Why don’t you call your full time job, your side gig. Maybe you’re already coaching full time
Maybe coaching is already your full time job. And your other job is your side gig. And not long after that her coaching business really took off, and she ended up leaving her other job. So another client told me, she was really she was broke. She said, she kept telling me, there’s no way she could squeeze another penny. out of her budget, she felt really discouraged. And she felt really trapped in her situation. She felt like there was no way that she could make it any better. And so after just a few months, she developed a flexibility in her budget, and possibilities began to open up for her that she never imagined. And she went from feeling super anxious about her finances to feeling free and in control. Now, her feedback about coaching with me was the best is my all time favorite. I will never forget this. Because there was a question that I had asked in, in my feedback form. That was something like, you know, what was the most valuable thing you learned, while coaching with me, in her response was that I’m not broke.
Oh, all time favorite. And that’s freedom. And there’s so many more possibilities when you’re really notice. And when you really acknowledge that your limitations are self imposed, that makes so much more possible for you. She was telling herself she was buying the story that her brain was telling her that she was broke. And she was also telling the story. And she didn’t realize this was unconscious, right? She was also telling the story, that the reason she was broke was because she was broken. And so I helped her craft a new story, a story where she was thriving, a story of love, unlimited possibilities. Because when it comes to money, I know for my clients, it’s not easy for them to separate the real facts from the stories. And not all of my clients budget, not all of them track their spending. But even if they do, their brain is still subject to interpretation of that data.
Now, I have had a lot of clients say they don’t have enough money. And when I ask them for the details of what that means. They don’t even know how much they have. They usually don’t know how much they spend. And on top of that, they don’t know how much would be enough. So if you’re telling yourself, you don’t have enough, then I want you to ask yourself, how much would you need in order for it to be enough? And if you don’t know the answer to that question, how will you ever have enough? How do you get enough? If you don’t know what enough is? How do you know what target you’re shooting for? How do you know what the gap is? Or what it’ll take to get there? What would need to change? If you don’t know the gap, then you don’t know what you need to change. You can’t even set a goal to get there because you don’t know what else to take. And it’s not even just about spending. It’s even more importantly about income. What story are you telling yourself about your expenses? What story? Are you telling yourself about your income?
Now, I show all my clients how to tell the difference between the stories, what I call lies and the facts. Because if it’s the truth, then you have no control over it right. But if it’s a lie, then it’s something that you can change. So back to the client that was broke. As we went through her budget, I asked her about the different expenses because she had sent me a copy of her budget and we, you know, took one session to go through her budget. And so I asked her about each line item. And what I started noticing is that for almost all of her expenses, she had estimated Hi. And when I asked her why she did that, she said it made her feel less anxious to have a cushion.
And what I pointed out to her is, okay, a cushion is great. But what you’re telling yourself is that you’re broke. And the reason that you’re telling yourself that and the evidence that you’re finding of that is that your budget, your expenses exceed your income but the reason your expenses
exceed your income is because you have this cushion and then you feel anxious because your expenses exceed your income so the cushion is not relieving you of anxiety it’s causing your anxiety and so every month because she believed she was broke every month her brain found plenty of evidence of that and in fact her brain created those results if she didn’t need the money in that category right because she had that cushion then she would always find something that she quote needed and every month she would end up with nothing left for savings or she would end up borrowing more on a credit card because she was broke.
But when we updated her budget to remove the cushions and she saw she had plenty of flexibility in her finances more flexibility than she ever imagined that she could have she was actually able to start saving money for the house she wanted so her statement when she began working with me i’m broke i have no room and my budget seemed like effect she had it right there in black and white on a piece of paper but it was really just a thought that she kept proving over and over it was the story that she was selling herself and it was limiting her and because what we believe about one thing is what we believe about most things it wasn’t just limiting her in her finances but it was also limiting her in every other area of her life it was limiting her in her career it was limiting in her relationships. It wasn’t just showing up in her budget, it was showing up in her life and so when i helped her question that story and in her budget it opened up other possibilities for her in her life it opened up possibilities in her career it opened up possibilities in dating she ended up getting a better paying job.
She developed higher quality relationships but questioning that one story didn’t just give her a new thought it gave her a whole new life and a whole new perspective on life it gave her a whole new experience of the life that she already had so if she hadn’t been willing to invest in herself in spite of being broke. If she hadn’t been willing to bet on herself and hire a coach I don’t know how she would have detected the lies that she was believing so see because they felt so true they looked so true on paper she would just continue to serve you know surviving checking the boxes feeling broke and broken. And she’s an amazing woman she has so much to offer but the story she was believing and the evidence that she was finding made it hard for her to see how amazing she is made her heart to see all the possibilities that were available to her.
And this is so representative of all the stories that my clients believe whether it’s with their budget or with getting clients or making decisions or taking actions really anything in their life what it comes down to is the stories that they’re selling themselves the stories that they’re believing because they feel like facts and that’s why I started the group you know Foundation To Master Your Money Mindset was to teach my six step process to more women so that they could also master their money mindset and when you are able to master your money mindset you can use that same process to master anything in your life so the process Master Your Money Mindset masters stands for M M is for money lies is for awareness is for scrutinize is for transform your identity is for elevate your possibilities is for your reinforce the new identity so mastering your money mindset starts with detecting your money lies those are the lies that you’re believing the stories that your brain is telling you that feel so true and most of us don’t even know they’re there because you don’t know what to look for you don’t know how to detect them right in this is where this is like my zone of genius but money lies detecting the money lies is the first step it’s the key to the whole rest of the master process and it’s the hardest one because money lies are tough to detect on your own because they don’t seem like lies because you don’t know to even look for them you don’t even know to question them just like the client that thought she was broke she thought it was a fact she didn’t even because it was there in black and white she didn’t know to question it you don’t question facts right but when I challenged that belief then is when she started looking at it she didn’t she wouldn’t have known to question it on her own just like other clients have believed I can’t pay off my debt it seems like a fact but it’s only a fact because she believed it and then she made it so and it’s the same same way with clients that believe they can’t pay off their debt that they believe they’ll never get ahead.
They think that’s just a fact but it only becomes a fact when they believe it and when the end then they make it so so that’s the value of having a coach who is an expert at detecting these lies because they rarely look like lies if they did you would have already detected them and my clients are so fascinated at the lies I detect that were operating in the background.
It’s almost as if you if you’ve ever had a virus on your computer or you’ve ever had malware on your computer you don’t always notice that it’s there usually what ends up tipping you off that you have a virus or that you have malware is that your performance declines and when the performance on your computer starts to decline then you start looking for reasons and that’s when you detect the virus and that’s when you can address it and it’s the same way with money lies you don’t usually see the lies and the reason that I catch this in my clients is one because I’ve seen it in so many other clients so I know what to look for and we look at their performance and we identify areas in their performance where they’re underperforming or where they’re not performing at the level that they’re capable of or whether where they’re not getting the results that they want and we’d look for the reasons that that’s happening so the reason that I am so much better at detecting
the lies is one because I can look as casual observer as an objective observer of their brain obviously you know we’re as coaches of anything we’re able to do that for our clients but also it’s that I know where to look and I know the key indicators I know the warning signs I’ve seen them before so even before I detect the lie I know that I need to be looking for a lie and that’s something that my clients don’t know or they don’t know the red flags that to look for.
And so that’s one of the things that I teach in my Foundation To Master Your Money Mindset course is how do you even look for these lies where do you look how do you know to look for them and those are some of the key things so I know the warning signs then it’s just a matter of digging digging into the right places with the right tools in order to be able to expose the lies because once they’re exposed then it’s just a matter of applying the rest of the master process and of course you need coaching to go through that questioning process to go through that transformation so that you no longer believe the lie that also requires coaching but not nearly the same level of coaching as perhaps the identifying the lie in the first place so identifying the problem that is the cause the root cause of the performance in your business or the lack of results in your business or in your life and so it’s just a matter of applying the rest of the master process to the lie that we detect and expose getting to the truth and stepping into who you are when you no longer believe that lie so that’s what I’m going to be talking about over the next few months.
I’m going to be talking a lot more detail around the master process how to look for those money lies how to master those money lies how to build awareness around those lies you know what warning signals do i look for in order to detect the lies how do I build awareness with my clients around those lies how do I develop the powerful questions that help them challenge the stories that seems so real why the stories seem so real to us and how to look at them differently you know we’re going to be talking about the identity we see in ourselves versus our real identity? What is our
Exposing Money Lies with Jill Wright
Ep 50: What Stories Are You Married To?
true identity without the lies that we’re believing? And how do money lies impact how we see ourselves and how we show up in the world?
How do money lies, impact the possibilities that are available? And what possibilities are available to us? Once the truth is revealed? How can we use the master process to reveal precious truth in every area of our life? And so, you know, we tell stories, we, you know, our brain cells us on the stories that it feels like our most helpful to believe based on surviving our way through the world from one day to the next. But those stories aren’t facts. So this is why it’s so valuable to work with an expert lie detector, and why I have so many examples that I’ll be bringing up over the next couple of months.
To help you see where this is happening in your life. Where are you believing stories that seem like facts that don’t even show up on your radar. So you know, the biggest value to working with me one on one, or working with me in my foundation program, my group program that is eight weeks of learning the master your money mindset process. And going through that and getting coached every week on those group calls. The biggest value, whether you work with me in that group, or one on one is not necessarily in the master process. Although that process is extremely valuable, it’s just a very streamlined way to go through and master those lies. But the true value, the biggest value of working with me is in my uncanny ability to detect and expose the lies, which is the starting point of that process. So it’s so important to start with those lies, because I guarantee you every problem in your business is tied to a lie that you’re believing. And that’s why it’s so important to detect and expose those lies. I have so many examples of lies I helped my clients detect that were so detrimental to the growth of their business.
And I have examples of lies that I’ve found in myself, or that other coaches have helped me find in my own business. And it’s usually the ones that are tied to our identity that are the most destructive. And that’s why it’s so critical to detect and expose them before they do any more damage. And if you find them in your business, I guarantee you’re going to find them also impacting your life as well in some area of your life or in multiple areas of your life. And so I’ll be bringing lots of those examples and stories of more money lies in the next few episodes. So be sure to stay tuned to see if you’re believing any of those.
So that’s a wrap for Episode 50. I am so happy to celebrate Episode 50. I’m just so excited for this next 50 episodes. And I want to get you heading along the path, right so that we can get to Episode 100 together in a much stronger and a much better place in our businesses. And so I am so happy you’re on this journey with me. I’ll leave you today with a few questions to explore as you wait in patient anticipation for the next episode to hear more stories, more examples of even more money lies there are so many. In the meantime, I want you to answer these questions. Are there money lies from this episode that felt true for you? Go ahead and write those down? If not, if you didn’t find any from this episode, just take a look at where you are in your business. Where do you feel that you are in relation to where you want to be in relation to your goals in relation to where you thought you’d be?
Where do you feel like you should be, where would you rather be and why aren’t you there? So this is where we’ll pick up on the next episode. So go ahead and do that homework before the next episode comes out. And you can even write down the model of how you feel about your business right now and where you are in your business right now. And go ahead and send that to me and get some input on that.
So you can send that to Jill at Jill Wright Coaching and right is right and I’ll see you on the next episode where we will definitely talk more about money lies hey jill the money coach here if you aren’t currently subscribed to my email list go there now go to https://jillwrightcoaching.com/ get your free pdf copy of my book Money Lies The Sneaky Way Your Brain Sabotages Your Success In Your Business and read the book, see which of the 10 lies that I describe in the book that you might be believing when you sign up for my email list you’ll get lots of free tools that you can access and that you can use to detect your money lies to unlimited your money mindset the women on my list get almost as much great stuff as the people who work with me who the people who pay me so i look forward to seeing you in your inbox and don’t forget if there’s one truth you practice be sure to practice believing that YOU ARE MADE FOR MORE.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai