Ep 9: Give Your Brain Problems

What problems do you have in your business that you need to solve?

What if you could just hand them over and have someone else solve them for you?

Learn how to do that in this episode.

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Who Are You and What Have You Done with my CEO?

What identity are you struggling to step into?

Who are you becoming that still feels a little untrue? You might even feel a little bit like a fraud for even thinking of yourself in this way?

Too often, we’re so focused on what we don’t have, who we’re not, what we’re not doing … that we forget to celebrate the progress we are making. AND, we forget to step into the new identity of the person that we’re becoming.

I recently pursued a lifelong dream to write and publish a book. And in the process, I became a bestselling author.

I’m still struggling with the achievement – it’s even hard for me to say out loud, “I’m a bestselling author.”  It feels like I’m riding on the coattails of someone I don’t deserve to hang out with, because my old identity is in a tug of war with my new identity.

It’s just tough for my brain to completely buy into this new persona. From a survival perspective, it’s not safe. this new identity still feels pretty uncertain. What if it’s not real? What if it’s just an illusion? What if I abandon my old identity and my new identity doesn’t pan out? Will I be stranded in the middle of nowhere with no identity?

I’m having to coach myself around this. I’m having to remind myself that these are just lies that the brain in charge of keeping me safe is believing because it’s safer to believe this than to go on to do new and greater things that I could fail at. And then where would I be? Cast out? All alone? Criticized? Publicly shamed?

My brain is resisting and that’s okay. If I’m aware of this, I can question these lies and I can choose my truth intentionally. I can process those feelings of self-doubt, fear and insecurity. I can understand exactly where they’re coming from and how my brain thinks they might serve me. I can also consider how they don’t serve me.

Investing in a new identity is a lot like investing in the stock market. Investing in your identity means spending time living in that identity, doing the thought work around what you need to believe in order to keep living in that identity. And it’s hanging out in that identity as much as possible.

Investing in the stock market can be scary, especially if that’s not an area of expertise or an area we’re even comfortable with. The best advice I’ve ever heard about investing is that you should always understand what you’re investing in before investing in the stock market. This doesn’t mean you need to get a finance degree. Just invest time into learning enough to understand how it works, understand the risks, as well as what you have to gain. You can do this by investing in a financial professional that is willing and able to teach you and do your due diligence. Trust but verify. You can take courses, read books, listen to podcasts – just like anything else you want to improve in your life, learn more about it from reliable resources.

Just like investing in the stock market, you should also understand the identity you want to invest in.  What does this identity offer you? What are the risks of stepping into this identity? What do you stand to gain? Is it in alignment with who you are meant to be? Why do you want this identity and do you like your reasons?

Then, just like when you invest in the stock market, do it with a long-term perspective. You’ll need to generate patience, you’ll need to manage your mind around the insecurity you will inevitably feel as you’re becoming more familiar with it.

It may seem foreign to you at first and you may be tempted to panic when the market goes down. But as you’re embracing your new identity, as a business owner who is a master of her money, you just have to stay in the game.

Just like investing, stepping into your new identity is a long-term game. You only lose if you panic and get out of the game.

If you want to make money, you need to hang in there and not sell out. I can help you with this. I have spots available in my M.A.S.T.E.R. Your Relationship With Money program.

I have lots of resources on my website at https://jillwrightcoaching.com/ to help you sign MORE clients, help MORE people and make MORE money.

YOU are MADE for MORE – let me help you uncover your MORE!

When should you just let the waters rage?

Lie: It’s awful to feel awful, so you should just avoid it at all costs.

It’s easy to believe this lie, BUT it’s not always easy to see that we’re believing this lie. We think we’re feeling all our feelings, but if you’re anything like a lot of my clients, you may not be feeling your feelings as much as you might think.

Do you notice yourself shifting from negative thinking to positive thinking, using the rule “what you focus on grows” against yourself, not allowing yourself to fully process negative thinking?

What I notice my clients doing is “allowing” their feelings, but “choosing” something different to get out of that feeling.

Now there appears to be a pretty fine line between sitting in your feelings and allowing them and processing them and shifting out of those negative feeling in order to feel better. What I notice is that when they don’t take the time to process those feelings and learn from them, those feelings lie in wait to get them stuck again.

So how do you distinguish between processing feelings and shifting the beliefs that are causing them and simply shifting out of the feeling without processing it and learning what it has to teach you?

You can follow some simple questions to check in with yourself. Questions like these will often help you “be on to yourself” and really become honest with yourself. They will enable you to distinguish between shifting out of the belief versus simply shifting out of the feeling.

It’s a learning process, so don’t expect to become skilled at it right out of the gate. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. There’s no rush. It’s a process of becoming more aware.

  • How often do you feel this way?
  • What do you notice triggers you to feel this way?
  • What is the problem?
  • Is the problem that you feel this way or is feeling this way pointing you to an underlying problem?
  • What have you learned that this feeling has to teach you?
  • How have you incorporated that teaching into your life upon learning it?
  • When do you shift out of that feeling?
  • How do you shift out of that feeling?
  • How long before that feeling returns?
  • What is the belief that triggers that feeling?
  • Where did that belief come from?
  • Why does it return?
  • What have you tried in order to shift that belief?
  • How is that working for you? Why or why not?
  • When you shift out of the feeling, is a clean break or is there still an underlying hum like white noise in the background?

Often my clients, wanting more to shift out of the feeling than to shift out of the belief, tend to simply “cover up” the feeling that they don’t want to feel with a positive thought that helps them feel what they do want to feel. What this creates is an underlying hum of negative energy that they can’t quite identify. It’s like malware on a computer. You know that something is draining the performance of your computer, but you can’t quite put your finger on the underlying cause.

Without knowing what’s causing this drain, you can’t treat it. You only teach your brain to “cover up” unpleasant or uncomfortable feelings, which your brain is happy to comply with.

Instead, address the symptom (the unpleasant feeling) head on. Poke at it, see what’s at the root of that feeling and address the root cause.

When you only address the symptom, the symptom returns. When you address the root cause, the symptom may return, but each time it does, you have more information with which to develop a treatment plan for the root cause. Eventually you have enough data to solve the problem permanently.

This is what happens with a limited money mindset. There are lots of symptoms of this, but when you don’t address the limited money mindset itself and you only treat the symptoms, you end up really frustrated and ready to quit.

I can help you with this.

I have lots of resources on my website at https://jillwrightcoaching.com/ to help you sign MORE clients, help MORE people and make MORE money. I have spots available in my M.A.S.T.E.R. Your Relationship With Money program right now, too.

YOU are MADE for MORE – let me help you uncover your MORE!

Exposing Money Lies

Get this worksheet that’s companion to Episode 6 of my Money Lies podcast to walk you through the process of shifting Boomerang Thoughts for good.

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Are you letting a rope come between you and your dreams?

What limitations do you see that are keeping you from making the difference you’re meant to make? What barriers could you tear down if you knew your own strength?

As a man was passing some elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg.

No chains, no cages.

It was obvious that the elephants could, at any time, break away but, for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

“Well,” the trainer said, “when they are very young, and much smaller, we use a rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to not break away. They believe the rope is still enough to hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free but, because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

Think about times that you felt stuck. What did you believe about yourself that kept you from breaking free from the beliefs that kept you stuck?

Think about times that you haven’t made the money you wanted to make. What did you believe about making more money that limited you?

When you notice limitations on making the money you want in your business, I’m giving you permission to test the rope. See if you can remove the rope. See if you can just leave the rope there, but still move freely about, going wherever you want to go with your business. See if you can break the rope so that it’s no longer restricting you.

Even if you can’t break free this time, it doesn’t mean you won’t be able to break free next time. Keep testing it. Keep loosening it. What if you are made for MORE but you never test the rope?

It’s my mission to make sure that women like you recognize the value you have within you and that you give yourself permission to fully access that value to create the business you want making the money you want. If you’re stuck, not sure how to translate what you have to offer into making money in your business, it’s probably because you’re another unfortunate victim of a limited money mindset. You have a rope that you don’t yet know will not hold you back.

I can help you with this. I have spots available in my M.A.S.T.E.R. Your Relationship With Money program. Learn how to apply, so I can help you sign MORE clients, help MORE people and make MORE money.

YOU are MADE for MORE – let me help you loosen the rope and uncover your MORE!

#MoneyLies #YouAreMadeForMore #JillTheMoneyCoach

Boomerang Thoughts

Get this worksheet that’s companion to Episode 6 of my Money Lies podcast to walk you through the process of shifting Boomerang Thoughts for good.

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Ep 6: Boomerang Thoughts

In this episode, I share a process I use to deal with these thoughts. And I share a clip from my client Dorothy’s coaching session (with her permission) where we talk about this process.

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